Who We Are
East Harmon is filled with people who have the desire to better themselves, and we got that by the shitload at East Harmon. We will never stop learning, never stop growing, and we will never forger the ideas that were instilled in us, at our place because we are SHITheads now and SHITheads forever and nothing you can do can take that away from us.
East Harmon is filled with people who have the desire to better themselves, and we got that by the shitload at East Harmon. We will never stop learning, never stop growing, and we will never forger the ideas that were instilled in us, at our place because we are SHITheads now and SHITheads forever and nothing you can do can take that away from us.
Our History
E.H.I.T. was founded by its current president Bartleby “B” Gaines and his high school friends, Hands Holloway and Sherman Schrader. Other founding members include Rory Thayer and Glen. With the exception of Schrader, these 2006 high school graduates were rejected from every college to which they applied. Gaines was inspired by his Harmon College rejection letter to create his own school. He and the other founders renovated an abandoned mental institution nearby Harmon College. Schrader was even tasked with creating a “legitimate”-looking website for the school. The founders had not expected that their “thrown together” school would be noticed; however, the motto listed on the site (“Acceptance is just one click away”) had been taken seriously by over 300 students, whom also had been rejected from ever single school that they applied for. The students, thinking that they could make a better start for themselves, and to make their parents proud of them, applied and were accepted by Schrader’s functional website. Therefore, the school officially opened in the fall of 2006 with approximately 300 undergraduate students. Unfortunately, the founders did not go through the proper channels to achieve accreditation and legitimacy, which created problems during its first semester of existence.
E.H.I.T. was founded by its current president Bartleby “B” Gaines and his high school friends, Hands Holloway and Sherman Schrader. Other founding members include Rory Thayer and Glen. With the exception of Schrader, these 2006 high school graduates were rejected from every college to which they applied. Gaines was inspired by his Harmon College rejection letter to create his own school. He and the other founders renovated an abandoned mental institution nearby Harmon College. Schrader was even tasked with creating a “legitimate”-looking website for the school. The founders had not expected that their “thrown together” school would be noticed; however, the motto listed on the site (“Acceptance is just one click away”) had been taken seriously by over 300 students, whom also had been rejected from ever single school that they applied for. The students, thinking that they could make a better start for themselves, and to make their parents proud of them, applied and were accepted by Schrader’s functional website. Therefore, the school officially opened in the fall of 2006 with approximately 300 undergraduate students. Unfortunately, the founders did not go through the proper channels to achieve accreditation and legitimacy, which created problems during its first semester of existence.
Our One-Year Probationary Period
E.H.I.T.’s illegitimacy was made public by Dean Richard Van Horne of Harmon College. Dean Van Horne became aware of E.H.I.T.’s existence while he was securing properties surrounding Harmon College for demolition to make room for an addition to the Harmon campus: a large landscaped gateway designed to, in his words, “Keep knowledge in and ignorance out.” On October 27, 2006, Bartleby Gaines, Ben Lewis (E.H.I.T. Dean), and the student body pled their case before the Ohio State Board of Education for accreditation of E.H.I.T. Gaines showed the board that E.H.I.T. allows students to be what they want, whether that be a poet or an artist or anything else they can think of. His speech, causing those in attendance to rise to their feet in applause and cheers, also moved the board, which granted E.H.I.T. a one-year probationary period of accreditation.
E.H.I.T.’s illegitimacy was made public by Dean Richard Van Horne of Harmon College. Dean Van Horne became aware of E.H.I.T.’s existence while he was securing properties surrounding Harmon College for demolition to make room for an addition to the Harmon campus: a large landscaped gateway designed to, in his words, “Keep knowledge in and ignorance out.” On October 27, 2006, Bartleby Gaines, Ben Lewis (E.H.I.T. Dean), and the student body pled their case before the Ohio State Board of Education for accreditation of E.H.I.T. Gaines showed the board that E.H.I.T. allows students to be what they want, whether that be a poet or an artist or anything else they can think of. His speech, causing those in attendance to rise to their feet in applause and cheers, also moved the board, which granted E.H.I.T. a one-year probationary period of accreditation.
Philosophy here at East Harmon
Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that they’re gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision! Do I have to spoon feed it to ya? Look, there’s only one reason that kids want to go to school, to get a good job, with a great starting salary. At East Harmon Institute of Technology, our faculty and staff are dedicated to give students an advantage in the workforce through a system of Business and English blended with studies of the arts, Music and Foreign Studies. It is guided by its tradition of the study of Art and Music and friendly vibes on campus.
Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that they’re gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision! Do I have to spoon feed it to ya? Look, there’s only one reason that kids want to go to school, to get a good job, with a great starting salary. At East Harmon Institute of Technology, our faculty and staff are dedicated to give students an advantage in the workforce through a system of Business and English blended with studies of the arts, Music and Foreign Studies. It is guided by its tradition of the study of Art and Music and friendly vibes on campus.
Areas of Study
E.H.I.T. offers fully personalized study programs to its students by asking them “What do you want to learn?” Based on the students’ inner reflection, they develop their own classes and study plans and write them on a LARGE white board.
E.H.I.T. offers fully personalized study programs to its students by asking them “What do you want to learn?” Based on the students’ inner reflection, they develop their own classes and study plans and write them on a LARGE white board.
Culinary Arts
Glen came to E.H.I.T. after receiving a score of 0 on the SAT and being fired from his job at the “Qwick and Stop” for trying to create a shrimp slushie (he was both hungry and thirsty). At E.H.I.T., he explored new and innovative combinations of flavors of food, (his first creation was GlenWads, said to “contain every delicious flavor in every single bite.”) and eventually incorporated classic techniques into his repertoire.
Glen came to E.H.I.T. after receiving a score of 0 on the SAT and being fired from his job at the “Qwick and Stop” for trying to create a shrimp slushie (he was both hungry and thirsty). At E.H.I.T., he explored new and innovative combinations of flavors of food, (his first creation was GlenWads, said to “contain every delicious flavor in every single bite.”) and eventually incorporated classic techniques into his repertoire.
Visual Arts
During summer camp when he was young, Hans Holloway carved an award-winning wood sculpture but was soon discovered for his athletic talent and was never able to pursue sculpting and woodcarving. He chose this as his area of study at E.H.I.T.; and a division of the school, the “Hands Holloway School of Art” is named after him.
During summer camp when he was young, Hans Holloway carved an award-winning wood sculpture but was soon discovered for his athletic talent and was never able to pursue sculpting and woodcarving. He chose this as his area of study at E.H.I.T.; and a division of the school, the “Hands Holloway School of Art” is named after him.
Music
A former member of the United States military who attended E.H.I.T. brought his love of rock-and-roll and classic rock music to the school and teaches numerous classes on “the music and lyrical angst of a lost generation, and we rock our faces off.”
A former member of the United States military who attended E.H.I.T. brought his love of rock-and-roll and classic rock music to the school and teaches numerous classes on “the music and lyrical angst of a lost generation, and we rock our faces off.”
Engineering and Physics
E.H.I.T. has a skateboarding half-pipe, built by two of its students, Dwayne and Wayne. Presumably, they have also pursued other engineering projects around the campus. When the meeting for accredidation had come around, they both had helped B. by telling them that
E.H.I.T. has a skateboarding half-pipe, built by two of its students, Dwayne and Wayne. Presumably, they have also pursued other engineering projects around the campus. When the meeting for accredidation had come around, they both had helped B. by telling them that
Nothing
This area of study is headed by Rory Thayer, who noted that since first grade, her entire life has been scheduled. At E.H.I.T., she studies meditation techniques and other methods of relaxation. Abernathy Darwin Dunlap (A.D.D.) also followed this course of study. attention deficit disorder, with her new found friend “A.D.D”,caused him to be unable to sit still or pay attention to anything for more than a few seconds. When he arrived at E.H.I.T., he expressed a desire to “slow things down.” When he had started meditating with Rory, the only thing that could keep him from running again was a straightjacket that they found somewhere in the old mental hospital. He joined Rory in her meditation sessions and was eventually able to discipline his mind and body to relax without the use of physical restraints.
This area of study is headed by Rory Thayer, who noted that since first grade, her entire life has been scheduled. At E.H.I.T., she studies meditation techniques and other methods of relaxation. Abernathy Darwin Dunlap (A.D.D.) also followed this course of study. attention deficit disorder, with her new found friend “A.D.D”,caused him to be unable to sit still or pay attention to anything for more than a few seconds. When he arrived at E.H.I.T., he expressed a desire to “slow things down.” When he had started meditating with Rory, the only thing that could keep him from running again was a straightjacket that they found somewhere in the old mental hospital. He joined Rory in her meditation sessions and was eventually able to discipline his mind and body to relax without the use of physical restraints.
Fashion Design
A former exotic dancer, Kiki arrives and states that she wants to learn “something having to do with clothes…putting them on, taking them off. Im really good at that part, y’wanna see?” She is assigned by President Gaines to design the E.H.I.T. line of college attire.
A former exotic dancer, Kiki arrives and states that she wants to learn “something having to do with clothes…putting them on, taking them off. Im really good at that part, y’wanna see?” She is assigned by President Gaines to design the E.H.I.T. line of college attire.
Rise and Fall of Chevy Chase
This is what B. and his apparent “friend” talk about on the way to see him dorm room. Apparently a very popular class, because President “B” says that there is a waiting list for this course.
This is what B. and his apparent “friend” talk about on the way to see him dorm room. Apparently a very popular class, because President “B” says that there is a waiting list for this course.
Entropy Projection
One of the more eccentric students arrives at E.H.I.T. with the desire to “learn to blow shit up with mind.”
One of the more eccentric students arrives at E.H.I.T. with the desire to “learn to blow shit up with mind.”
Tuition
Tuition at E.H.I.T. is $10,000 per semester, or $20,000 per year.
Tuition at E.H.I.T. is $10,000 per semester, or $20,000 per year.
Rory Thayer Meditation Garden
This area of the college is used for meditation for those involved in learning about nothing and cease their scheduled lives. Rory herself leads meditation sessions in this garden, as well as nature walks. Glen, head of the Culinary Arts department, provides snacks for nature walks.
This area of the college is used for meditation for those involved in learning about nothing and cease their scheduled lives. Rory herself leads meditation sessions in this garden, as well as nature walks. Glen, head of the Culinary Arts department, provides snacks for nature walks.
Hands Holloway School of Art
Built after the school’s founding in 2006, the Hands Holloway School of Art can be presumed to house a very popular area of study (Visual Arts) because of its size as compared to other areas of the campus shown on screen. Outside the main entrance to the building is a large wooden African fertility sculpture, modeled after the first item carved by Hands during his studies at E.H.I.T and was also made by Columbus Shorts Character E.H.I.T Heads forever.
Built after the school’s founding in 2006, the Hands Holloway School of Art can be presumed to house a very popular area of study (Visual Arts) because of its size as compared to other areas of the campus shown on screen. Outside the main entrance to the building is a large wooden African fertility sculpture, modeled after the first item carved by Hands during his studies at E.H.I.T and was also made by Columbus Shorts Character E.H.I.T Heads forever.
East Harmon is filled with people
who have the desire to better themselves, and we got that by the shitload at East
Harmon. We will never stop learning, never stop growing, and we will never
forger the ideas that were instilled in us, at our place because we are
SHITheads now and SHITheads forever and nothing you can do can take that away
from us.
E.H.I.T. was founded by its current
president Bartleby "B" Gaines and his high school friends, Hands
Holloway and Sherman Schrader. Other founding members include Rory Thayer and
Glen. With the exception of Schrader, these 2006 high school graduates were
rejected from every college to which they applied. Gaines was inspired by his
Harmon College rejection letter to create his own school. He and the other
founders renovated an abandoned mental institution nearby Harmon College.
Schrader was even tasked with creating a "legitimate"-looking website
for the school. The founders had not expected that their "thrown
together" school would be noticed; however, the motto listed on the site
("Acceptance is just one click away") had been taken seriously by
over 300 students, whom also had been rejected from ever single school that
they applied for. The students, thinking that they could make a better start
for themselves, and to make their parents proud of them, applied and were
accepted by Schrader's functional website. Therefore, the school officially
opened in the fall of 2006 with approximately 300 undergraduate students.
Unfortunately, the founders did not go through the proper channels to achieve
accreditation and legitimacy, which created problems during its first semester
of existence.
E.H.I.T.'s illegitimacy was made
public by Dean Richard Van Horne of Harmon College. Dean Van Horne became aware
of E.H.I.T.'s existence while he was securing properties surrounding Harmon
College for demolition to make room for an addition to the Harmon campus: a
large landscaped gateway designed to, in his words, "Keep knowledge in and
ignorance out." On October 27, 2006, Bartleby Gaines, Ben Lewis (E.H.I.T.
Dean), and the student body pled their case before the Ohio State Board of
Education for accreditation of E.H.I.T. Gaines showed the board that E.H.I.T.
allows students to be what they want, whether that be a poet or an artist or
anything else they can think of. His speech, causing those in attendance to
rise to their feet in applause and cheers, also moved the board, which granted E.H.I.T.
a one-year probationary period of accreditation.
Philosophy
here at East Harmon
Look, we throw a lot of fancy words
in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the
belief that they're gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing
is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS!
Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long
hell of debt and indecision! Do I have to spoon feed it to ya? Look, there’s
only one reason that kids want to go to school, to get a good job, with a great
starting salary. At East Harmon Institute of Technology, our faculty and staff
are dedicated to give students an advantage in the workforce through a system
of Business and English blended with studies of the arts, Music and Foreign
Studies. It is guided by its tradition of the study of Art and Music and friendly
vibes on campus.
Areas
of Study
E.H.I.T. offers fully personalized
study programs to its students by asking them "What do you want to
learn?" Based on the students' inner reflection, they develop their own
classes and study plans and write them on a LARGE white board.
Culinary
Arts
Glen came to E.H.I.T. after
receiving a score of 0 on the SAT and being fired from his job at the
"Qwick and Stop" for trying to create a shrimp slushie (he was both
hungry and thirsty). At E.H.I.T., he explored new and innovative combinations
of flavors of food, (his first creation was GlenWads, said to "contain
every delicious flavor in every single bite.") and eventually incorporated
classic techniques into his repertoire.
Visual
Arts
During summer camp when he was
young, Hans Holloway carved an award-winning wood sculpture but was soon
discovered for his athletic talent and was never able to pursue sculpting and
woodcarving. He chose this as his area of study at E.H.I.T.; and a division of
the school, the "Hands Holloway School of Art" is named after him.
Music
A former member of the United States
military who attended E.H.I.T. brought his love of rock-and-roll and classic
rock music to the school and teaches numerous classes on "the music and
lyrical angst of a lost generation, and we rock our faces off."
Engineering
and Physics
E.H.I.T. has a skateboarding
half-pipe, built by two of its students, Dwayne and Wayne. Presumably, they
have also pursued other engineering projects around the campus. When the
meeting for accredidation had come around, they both had helped B. by telling
them that
Nothing
This area of study is headed by Rory
Thayer, who noted that since first grade, her entire life has been scheduled.
At E.H.I.T., she studies meditation techniques and other methods of relaxation.
Abernathy Darwin Dunlap (A.D.D.) also followed this course of study. attention
deficit disorder, with her new found friend "A.D.D",caused him to be
unable to sit still or pay attention to anything for more than a few seconds.
When he arrived at E.H.I.T., he expressed a desire to "slow things
down." When he had started meditating with Rory, the only thing that could
keep him from running again was a straightjacket that they found somewhere in
the old mental hospital. He joined Rory in her meditation sessions and was
eventually able to discipline his mind and body to relax without the use of
physical restraints.
Fashion
Design
A former exotic dancer, Kiki arrives
and states that she wants to learn "something having to do with clothes...putting
them on, taking them off. Im really good at that part, y'wanna see?" She
is assigned by President Gaines to design the E.H.I.T. line of college attire.
Rise
and Fall of Chevy Chase
This is what B. and his apparent
"friend" talk about on the way to see him dorm room. Apparently a
very popular class, because President "B" says that there is a
waiting list for this course.
Entropy
Projection
One of the more eccentric students
arrives at E.H.I.T. with the desire to "learn to blow shit up with
mind."
Tuition
Tuition at E.H.I.T. is $10,000 per
semester, or $20,000 per year.
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